Ukelalies and Banjos

A good friend of mine is a Pit Boss at City Barbeque and offered me a smoked bone-in ham last week (it's great having friends). So today being a cold, rainy day here in Cincinnati, I decided to make a "Sweet and Salty Ham and Pineapple" pizza.

Now, sometimes you'll see it called "Hawaiian Pizza" but, truth be known, since Hawaii is the largest consumer of Spam in the US (true), I don't think this was the "official" Hawaiian pizza. Let's just call it a "Brian Hawaiian Pizza" and get on to making some tasty eats, shall we?

So we've got our smoked country ham, or feel free to use cubed ham, sliced ham, prosciutto or whatever you like. Heck, throw in a little bacon if you want. There's so much right with bacon, you can never go wrong. Quote me on that.

For the pineapple portion of our program, I went ahead and bought a whole, fresh pineapple. Sure, I could have used some canned pineapple or "pre-cut", but part of cooking is working outside your boundaries, expanding the experience a little. A fresh pineapple is easy to cut and prep, so why not try it one time? But if you're in a rush, canned is fine (but only "fine", because "fresh" is so much finer).

Salty country smoked ham. Succulent fresh-cut pineapple. Now, it's at this point that you can add some "signatures" to your pizza.

1. Crust. Home-made, pre-made it's up to you. My friend Scott is owner of The Works Pizza in Loveland where they make some of the finest brick oven pizzas around. Give me one of his crusts and his brick oven and I'll be in heaven. But since my kitchen is more of a kitchette (or "kitchenito"), we'll just go with a off the shelf crust and use our humble gas oven.

2. Cheese. Ah, now here's where you can really add your own touch. I went with a mix of Monterey Jack and Mozzarella Blue Cheese, but feel free to experiment and add your own blend of cheeses. Just remember, "What would compliment the saltiness of the ham and sweetness of the pineapple"? We're after flavors and textures that can mingle together with the ham and pineapple, not fight for supremacy on the palette.

3. Tomato Sauce. Again, home-made is better, but it's a Sunday afternoon, so I went with a pre-made of oven-roasted tomatoes and basil – something not too heavy, just adds a nice addition to that flavor train we're creating.

Ham. Pineapple. Crust. Sauce. Cheeses. Got all that, now it's on to the prep. At this point, it'd be really easy to put the fresh cut pineapple and the ham on the sauced crust, top with cheese and throw that bad boy into the oven, and that's ok. However, you're not getting the most out of your main ingredients.

I strongly suggest you throw the pineapple chucks (or if you're like me, diced bits) into a hot pan and let it sear a bit. You're not trying to cook the pineapple, just warm it up and coax out the natural sweetness more than it is in its raw state. After a minute or two of searing, you'll find your pineapple is candy-sweet. And that kids, is a great compliment to our smoked salty country ham.

After you've seared the pineapple, put it aside in a dish and sear the ham in the same pan. Again, this helps release the true flavor of the ham, tenderizes it and brings out all its down home juicy goodness. In all, an extra five minutes of prep which makes a huge difference in the final product.

I will tell you it's at this point I placed the pineapple and ham on my sauced crust topped with my selected array of cheeses and baked it while singing an honorary chorus of "Tiny Bubbles" to the ghost of Don Ho.

And it was a good pizza, but not great. Here's why: We had salty and sweet (in fact searing the pineapple probably doubled its sweetness and while searing tempered the ham's saltiness by half) and the chesses where a nice addition but didn't add a ton of flavor.

But don't despair. I just made a whole new pizza. Oh, yes kids. Uncle Brian doesn't get this close to pizza perfection just to settle for what could have been. No no. That's when I hit the spice rack to find some simple fixes to really jack up the flavor. And the second time around was much, much better. Maybe even "signature".

With the pineapple, I tossed in a little cinnamon and just a pinch of ginger. And, to the ham, I threw in some basil, garlic powder, a little oregano and some lemon pepper along with cayenne pepper.

With the cheese, I put a thin layer down before putting on the pineapple and ham. And then alternated the layers (cheese/ham and pineapple mix...cheese/ham and pineapple mix...final layer of cheese). Because cheese is the glue and if you intertwine the cheese with the toppings, you won't get that layered, "cheese slider" thing going on. Omit that whole roof sliding off a house effect. Unless you dig that sort of thing.

And the second time around, it was much, much better.

Can this recipe be improved? Sure. I'd suggest sprinkling in some almonds or pine nuts for a complimentary texture to the ham. Or get a little crazy and put in some kiwi with the pineapple. Heck, add in some peppers to the party and some nicely chopped onion to open up the flavor matrix. It's your call.

And that's what makes cooking so great. If you're in a rush, "prep to oven" can be as little as five minutes. Or you can take some more time to make something truly special for your friends and family. Something sweet, salty and sassy.

In short, a perfect way to weather a dreary, cold Sunday.